


Here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

by noknockback



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, by deep thoughts i mean Gay thoughts, deep thoughts with hirugami sachirou, hand holding!!, hirugami may be a bit obsessed with hoshiumi's hands, star gazing!!, written for hoshiumi's birthday 2020!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23681431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noknockback/pseuds/noknockback
Summary: Hoshiumi looks beautiful under the moonlight.
Relationships: Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	Here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

**Author's Note:**

> i had a billion ideas on what to write for hoshiumi's birthday and finally settled on this, and even this is a rewrite of the idea i had settled on (that i started on only last night because i was too busy making that arankita adventure thread.. haha.....)
> 
> anyway please enjoy!

_He looks ethereal under the moonlight._

Hirugami’s eyes are trained on the boy beside him.

Even in the faint light coming from the silver slipper of a moon, his features are highlighted giving him an unearthly beauty, his white hair almost glowing. It’s ungelled and several strands fall over his closed eyes, making him look even softer than he already does.

“Kourai-kun,” Hirugami whispers, as quietly as he can so as to not break the tranquility of the night. There’s no response or movement of any kind, so he tries again, a little louder this time. 

Still nothing.

“Kourai-kun, are you asleep?” He props himself on an elbow to get a better look at his friend. The lack of any answer confirms his question. 

That’s fine, he supposes. There’s still a bit of time before midnight comes, Hirugami would just wake him up a few minutes before then.

He moves to lean back on the grass but catches sight of the hand that lies limply beside Hoshiumi. His palm faces the sky, fingers sprawled open, looking almost inviting. 

_Too_ inviting...

Hirugami has nursed the thought of holding his hand before, of course. It’s definitely something he’s thought about on more than one occasion, but never had he summed up enough courage to actually _do_ it, to reach out and clasp that hand in his. 

The only times he’s been blessed with the opportunity to feel that skin against his was in the early years of their friendship, though it was inevitable given what their first meeting was like. Hoshiumi had taken him straight home to patch up his scratched up hand, and that was also where Hirugami had learnt that Hoshiumi’s loudness was not just a trait of his own.

It wouldn’t be very far-fetched to say that was the start of Hirugami’s obsession with Hoshiumi’s hands. The gentleness with which they turned his own bigger ones over to inspect the wounds, how delicately they applied the antibiotic cream after, the warmth they radiated as he warned Hirugami to never, _ever_ beat himself up like that again. When he made the promise to always be there for Hirugami, to listen to whatever problems he was facing and to help him through them. 

And the strange coldness that was left when he finally let go. 

That was more than two years ago, and the coldness had faded into something more of a feeling of _something’s missing_. His hands felt normal but also somewhat… incomplete. Like holding Hoshiumi’s hand would finish the puzzle and everything would fall into place. 

But they’re first years in high school now and boys don’t just _hold hands_. It’s a weird concept to fathom all together — he himself would probably feel strange if he saw two of his male classmates suddenly holding hands. Unless, of course, they were dating, then it would be okay.

Dating…

That is definitely _not_ something Hirugami wants to think about now.

Fantasizing about holding his best friend’s hands is enough, he didn’t have the emotional capacity to think about what _dating_ his best friend would be like. 

(Although, it does sound _wonderful_.)

Hirugami sighs and lifts himself from the tangled depths of his thoughts. That’s something he’s become better at, breaking himself out of his reverie, not letting himself get consumed by his thoughts or spiral into self destructiveness. His eyes travel from the hand to the face of the one who was the center of it all. 

His eyes are still shut, breaths coming out in steady puffs as he slumbers on.

He’s sleeping.

And Hirugami only knows far too well how hard it is to wake Hoshiumi up once he falls asleep. A little nudge would do absolutely nothing.

Attempting to hold his hand?

It’s definitely worth a shot.

And even more so in the isolation of this place, where they’re enveloped by the darkness of the night and far enough away from any signs of civilization for the light from houses or streetlamps to leak into their little spot.

Hirugami stays where he is with his back to the grass, extending his hand out to where he estimates Hoshiumi’s to be. He lowers it slightly and feels for warmth, eventually stopping and repositioning when he brushes over the feeling of skin.

His neck cranes up just a tiny bit so that he can align his hand properly. It hovers hesitantly for a little while, before Hirugami finally sucks in a short breath and lowers it completely.

And now, his hand is over Hoshiumi’s. 

It feels a little… anticlimactic. 

Nothing special happens. There are no sparks that fly or some electric rush shooting through his veins. Just warmth. Warmth from the palm of Hoshumi being radiated to his, that’s all. 

Hirugami wants to go further. There’s been no sign of Hoshiumi waking up, so he figures it’s safe.

With his hand still over Hoshiumi’s, he turns his own just a bit so that their fingers aren’t pressing flush against one another, and instead are in the nooks between each finger. He presses with a little more pressure, just a minuscule amount to avoid alerting the boy, and finds that his fingers slip through quite easily.

And now, their fingers are intertwined with each other.

Hirugami smiles at the sky, all senses focused on this new feeling. It’s everything he thought it would feel like and more. The tightness around his fingers feels just right, like the emptiness in his hands are finally filled, like there’s something anchoring him down to the ground.

It’s cheesy, but it feels like he’s finally _complete_. Like this is what his whole life has been leading to. Which isn’t true, of course, but here in this moment, Hirugami doesn’t know what more he could want other than for time too stand still and let him breathe in this for a little while longer.

He still hasn’t been met with any resistance from the boy so far, so if he was to go a _little_ bit further, that would be fine, right?

Just to curl the tips of his fingers so that they have a stronger hold on the smaller hands, to maximise the contact between them. 

_Ah, this feels like heaven_. 

A snort of laughter suddenly bubbles out of Hirugami.

What is he doing, overthinking the simplest things like holding hands? He’s made such a big fuss out of it, as if one misstep could cause the whole world to crash and burn. 

The worst thing that could happen was Hoshiumi waking up and getting weirded out, but if that happened Hirugami would blame it on him and say that Hoshiumi was the one who reached for his hand in his sleep. (This is Hirugami Sachirou, of course he’s got excuses planned out.)

He brings his free arm up for his head to rest on, propping his head up to stare at the stars in the sky. 

Since the hill that they’re on is far enough away from any signs of life to be stained with the artificial lights from the LEDs or fluorescent bulbs of houses and lamps, the stars in the sky can be seen with exceptional clarity. Especially so tonight, with the moon no more than a thin slice of white, reflecting so little light that the stars could shine without their luminosity being drowned out. 

They’ve done this, the star gazing thing, for almost the entirety of their friendship, ever since Hoshiumi had dragged Hirugami here because he felt that the taller was “stressing out too much” and needed to “get some fresh air”. The first night they had ever come here was a little like tonight, with a barely visible moon overhead and millions of little specks, looking like drops of milk splattered over a chalkboard.

They had come back every night after that, and when school began to get too busy to, it was only the weekends on which they’d come out here to stargaze. But they didn’t _just_ watch the stars, because there were nights when the moon shone too brightly the stars were barely visible. 

On those nights, they would have hushed conversations about their day or things that were bothering them and couldn’t be shared with anybody else. They were each other’s confidants, a listening ear whom they could always depend on, the only person they trusted enough to lay their whole self bare. Figuratively, of course. 

Hirugami would have continued lying there beside Hoshiumi just like they’ve always done, the only difference being their interlocked hands, were it not for the sudden pressure he feels.

He stops breathing. 

Did Hoshiumi just squeeze back?

Ever so slowly, Hirugami tilts his head to catch a glimpse of the other boy. His eyes are still closed, and his expression hasn’t changed since that last time he looked at him. Hirugami knows from first-hand experience that Hoshiumi is one of the deepest sleepers he knows. He couldn’t have just woken up and decided to keep his eyes closed just like that.

Once Hoshiumi was awake, he was awake. There was no way of putting him back to sleep, so there’s no way Hoshiumi is actually conscious right now.

 _It has to be on reflex_ , Hirugami thinks, trying to come up with the most logical reason for this. _Maybe because it’s warm_. Like how people tended to hug things unconsciously when they were sleeping. Not because they woke up and actively decided to hug it. 

Despite knowing this, there may still be a slightest chance that Hoshiumi’s actually awake and just pretending to be sleeping. For what he doesn’t know, perhaps to avoid any awkward confrontation because he knew that Hirugami was the one who had held his hand first? (But that wouldn’t explain why he tightened his own grip…)

The mere thought of him being awake has Hirugami’s heart in his throat. Sure it’s just _holding hands_ , but still. He doesn’t want to ruin anything between them, this friendship that they’ve built up over the course of four years, over something so self indulgent. 

He attempts to loosen his grip and pulls his fingers out, but it only seems to make Hoshiumi’s hold on him tighten even more. Cold beads of sweat start to form on Hirugami’s neck as he swallows hard and stops moving his hand. Now he _really_ isn't sure if Hoshiumi is awake or not.

“Kourai-kun,” he tries calling out for the third time tonight, but this time, his words come out far weaker than they did before. There’s still no response. He bites his tongue and looks away, his free hand reaching into his pocket to get his phone.

He checks the time, there’s ten minutes to twelve. 

Now he _has_ to wake Hoshiumi up, or he’d get absolutely mauled by the boy for making him miss the first minutes of his birthday. 

Hirugami turns his attention back to the white haired boy beside him. The least disruptive way he can do it is to shake him awake, to place a hand on his shoulder and give a little nudge. _Come on Sachirou, you can do this. It’s not that hard._

Another dry swallow as he hovers above Hoshiumi. A breath is exhaled a little too forcefully as he realises what this looks like. 

_Shit._

_Get. Yourself. Together._

After a moment’s hesitation, Hirugami finally gets his bearings back and rests the hand that isn’t in Hoshiumi’s clutches on his shoulder.

He does _not_ expect to feel a similar grip on his own shoulder the exact moment he does this, nor the feeling of being pulled forward, nor–

The feeling of something warm soft being pressed to his lips.

_Hoshiumi is kissing him_

Hoshiumi. Is. Kissing. Him.

Hirugami jerks backwards almost instantly and pushes Hoshiumi down as he does so. He sputters and stares, wide eyed, at the white haired boy beneath him, whose eyes are finally open. Golden pupils stare back into his.

“K-Kourai-kun,” he manages out, feeling his heartbeat start to quicken rapidly. “What was that..”

“Sachirou! Were you not about to kiss me!” 

_What._

“What,” he repeats, out loud.

“You were leaning over me! And you held me hand! I thought you were going to kiss me!” His tone is accusatory, but there’s an undercurrent of hurt that Hirugami can just about make out.

“Well,” Hirugami thinks about how he should phrase this. “I did think about it, but I wasn't _actually_ going to…”

“Why not!” Hoshiumi sits up, clearly agitated by the answers hirugami’s giving. It doesn't help at all to answer his questions, his thoughts getting more and more muddled.

“Because… It’s not like we’re dating or anything?” Hirugami’s so overwhelmed with confusion that he feels like pulling at his hair again, but it’s a bad habit that he’s long since abandoned. “Why did _you_ kiss me, Kourai-kun?”

“I thought you were going to, so I did it first!” There’s a conflicted look in his eyes as he frowns at Hirugami. His next words are spoken in a much softer tone. “I thought you liked me?”

Hirugami feels heat rush to his cheeks. “I- I do, Kourai-kun. But how did you even know?”

“You held my hand and then kept leaning over me, so I thought that you were going to kiss me, which means that you like me, right?” 

“I-” _He felt me holding his hand?!_ “How long were you awake for, Kourai-kun?”

He must be asking a lot of questions, because the troubled expression on Hoshiumi’s face fades into one of annoyance, but then that fades, too. 

“I was never asleep! But I wanted to see what you would do if you thought I was!” He grins triumphantly at the taller, who feels the hold on his hand get stronger.

Hirugami can’t believe it. This whole time, he had been fooled into thinking that Hoshiumi was fast asleep, entirely unaware of anything he had been doing, but no. That boy had been wide awake for the whole time, letting Hirugami do as he pleased.

Letting him do as he pleased…

“Kourai-kun, you like me too?” Is the conclusion he comes to after everything’s sunken in.

He’s met with a deadpan expression. “Sachirou, I literally _kissed_ you, are you stupid?”

“I’m not stu-”

“Anyway!” Hoshiumi cuts him off, his free hand reaching out to grab at Hirugami’s arm. “It’s my birthday now, isn’t it?”

The taller lets himself get pulled and pushed around by Hoshiumi like he had turned to clay, putting up absolutely no resistance whatsoever. They finally settle into a position that Hoshiumi seems comfortable with, sitting on Hirugami’s outstretched legs as he rests his own on either side of him. 

“How did you know it’s already midnight.” It comes out in a whisper, Hirugami so caught up in the revelation and then Hoshiumi suddenly getting _on_ him that he can barely speak. The white haired boy flashes his teeth once again.

“I saw the time when you checked your phone!” 

_That means he must have opened his eyes… Just how much did I not see?_

Hirugami isn’t given the chance to mull over this thought as Hoshiumi slips his hand out from where they’re linked with his and presses them both down on Hirugami’s shoulders. 

“Since it’s my birthday,” he says, pulling himself forward to lean closer. “I get to dictate how it goes.” He closes even more distance and presses his forehead to Hirugami’s so that the only space left between them is a singular hair’s breadth between their lips. “And I say you give me a kiss. A proper one.”

Hirugami opens his mouth to say something but brushes against Hoshiumis’ skin and stops abruptly. He is _right there_ , waiting for him to make the first move.

So he does.

He tilts his head up to connect their lips together, and to his surprise, finds that they slot together even more perfectly than the way their hands did. He brings his arms up to rest on the sides of Hoshiumi’s waist, pulling him closer until he ends up falling back down on the grass beneath them. 

It's only after several more moments does Hoshiumi break the kiss for air, but he stays pressed against Hirugami’s chest, hands moving up to cup the taller’s face. He breaks into yet another grin and his eyes disappear into crescents as he smiles on at Hirugami.

Despite the speed at which his heart is racing now, Hirugami feels like this is the calmest he’s felt for the whole time they've been here. The corners of his lips slowly curl up into a smile as his whole being swells with affection for the boy in front of him.

“Happy birthday, Kourai-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me about hiruhoshi [here](https://twitter.com/kouraing)  
> thanks for reading <3


End file.
